Last night I sat with my moon. I tried to take a few pictures with my phone because, why not, and I actually messed around with it and found some settings I'd never noticed. I've never been the greatest at taking pictures but I used to take a lot of them. I'm usually focused on what's going on and can remember the moment. Especially when it feels soo, soooooooo amazingly, unrealistically good! That's usually how the moon makes me feel.
I sit in the dark. Sometimes I have music on, other times I don't. Tonight, the music is on. The clouds are in the sky passing over the moon inconsistently and it creates a random dimmer of moonlight in the room. When the moon is fully exposed, no clouds passing over, it's so bright! Once the clouds start passing over, it gets dim depending on how thick the clouds are. Once the clouds begin to thin or I see they're ending and the moon will shine bright again, I'm full of anticipation waiting on the brightness to illuminate me from within. It feels like the excitement and joy I'd feel when I knew I was going to one of my favorite places! Or of being a child, excited when you find out your crush was crushing on you too! Happy, happy, joy, joy!
So I sit and talk to the moon. Get some things off my chest, mind, heart and soul. It understands every language I speak. It knows my secrets. It's been with me in dark times and dark places. It helped me to still see light. It helped me to still have hope. I still had joy. I had to dig deep to find it sometimes...but I made it out. Every time. I smile. I smile because I remember but it's over. Done. I let it go. I moved on. I remember but I don't look back. And I keep doing it every month because I am constantly changing, just like the moon!
I love how things happen and just flow together. Just as I finished writing what I wrote above, the music ended about 30 seconds later. I'd stopped writing and was staring up at the sky smiling, ironically enough seeing the thinning clouds passing over the moon to soon reveal the bright full moon again, closed notebook still in hand with the pen inside. It was a nice kinda chill Bachata mix I'd been listening to. I've done my stretch workout to it because it's relaxing. When the moon was fully exposed again of course, my smile was brighter but when the music started again, it was loud! Very upbeat and I smiled even harder and started laughing. I sat back, relaxed and saw myself on a beach in the Caribbean, dancing barefoot in the sand to the music. Again, the little things!